This next little story is essentially a piece of life advice. Some background first. During the 1980’S I was working in New York City. The Union Bank of Switzerland had decided to buy my company Phillips and Drew and I became the first Brit to be actively employed by the Swiss giant. I had moved from the super elegant pencil thin tall glass ‘Tower 56’ where P and D had their offices to a very imposing black office block next door to The Waldorf Astoria on Park Avenue. As prestigious address as there is. The offices were on a grand scale as The Swiss wanted to dominate any business they were involved in. The office furniture was all hard wood, valuable contemporary art hung on the walls and there was I in charge of ‘The International Securities Division’, God help me. I had a team of Swiss who spoke to each other in the unintelligible Swiss German, two Japanese, a whole host of Europeans and a trading team of Americans. In total around 60 people but growing all the time.
Our business was literally booming as large US institutions were staring the process of globalising their portfolios. I was often quoted in The wall Street Journal, I was interviewed on various radio shows and even appeared on main time TV in circumstances I would have neither anticipated nor welcomed when the markets crashed.
All sorts of factors came together at one time and in the October of 1987 there was a Stock Market crash. UBS were more than a little disappointed with their recent acquisition as we cost the bank tens of millions of pounds. There was chaos in the market and I was left to manage a crowd of people risking tens of millions of dollars in a situation that no-one had ever seen before. To say the least it was terrifying.
Over the weekend I had received telephone calls at home from some large US Institutions asking if we would open our office early so they could take advantage of the markets when open in London. I called around our team and at 4 Am New York time our office was manned by our best people-no Swiss! (just saying). One key man was missing Tom Fenn. A most delightful man who went on to become a University Professor Tom was not at his desk.
He suddenly appeared staggering across the floor. The markets were opening in London and our telephone lights were beginning to flash. I thought Tom must have been on ‘the lash’ but closer inspection revealed a huge gash in is forehead. He had been attacked and mugged. Someone bandaged his head and he got to work. When the Swiss President of the New York office turned up some 5 hours later he was most surprised to see our team fully active but even more so to witness a bloodstained Fenn hard at it.
The crash was horrible as it not only cost UBS a lot of money thereby speeding up its desire to control our activities but it also cause US Institutions to pause in their globalisation. A bad day all round.
Two weeks later I went for my annual medical check up. Br Bertram Newman was a heart specialist at The Mount San hospital. Like all top doctors in New York he supplemented his earnings by having a private medical practice serving large multi national clients. He was very amusing called me by my surname Elliott and was full of advice.
Somehow the subject of The Mugging came up- a not rare event by the way in NYC in the 1980s. Bertram was ready with advice. ” Always always wear a bet with a big buckle’ he said. “If you go on a flight take a base ball with you in your hand luggage. If you get mugged in the street quickly draw out your belt. Swing it around your head with the buckle end outwards and make as much noise as you can, literally scream’ I have never tried it but it make sense! ‘If you encounter a problem on an aeroplane (ahead of his time) put the baseball in your sock and swing it round and hit whoever hard on the temples’. all good stuff I think.
Having delivered this piece of advice he asked me to come and sit with him in his office. He then told me in rather graphic detail how the Aids epidemic was being spread in NYC by promiscuous gay men. He insisted I return to my office and speak to ‘my people’ regarding the risks of various sexual behaviours. God knows why but I did as he bid me. The whole of my department were summoned to a conference room and I began.
Now one of the key tips he wanted me to pass on was the need to use barriers such as condoms when indulging in various activities. ‘Because a number of your staff will likely be gay’ he told me’you will need to tell them something else.’ This I am embarrassed to relate involved the use of ‘clingfilm’ or in US seramwrap when doing various ‘things’. I was hugely embarrassed but probably not as much as my team when I told them.
Nothing else was said but from that day onward the US trading team always made a pile of their sandwich cling film wrappers every lunch time and neatly piled them on the end of the desk. I enquired as to why one day, fearing what might come back. ‘Just in case’ was the tart reply.
Tales of a Life Well Lived 