In the early nineties we lived in a place called Mackerye End on the outskirts of Harpenden. We had some truly amazing neighbours and we seemed to get on with all of them although they did not necessarily get on with each other. I was still working for UBS at the time and my company car was a beautiful BMW series 7. Approximately a week after I took delivery of it we had an old friend over for Sunday lunch. The Parrots had been neighbours of ours when we lived in Barnet before moving to the USA. Graham was an amusing man and was a director of a public company Granada no less. Sadly he had split from his wife and we invited him over to catch up. I am sure he must have had all sorts of professional qualities but our relationship was based upon banter and humour.
Well Graham arrived and drooled at my car. ‘I just love big Bmers’ he said. ‘I love the colour too’ it is my dream car. ‘Why don’t you take in for a drive’ said I. ‘Seriously’ said he ‘yes please’. he drove off and was gone for around 20 minutes. I saw the car returning to my house up the lanes and he parked up in front of the house. He got out his face a mask. I suddenly realised why. The entire passenger side was stored in, lights broken doors dented -the lot. he was just overcome, he apologised said something like ‘I am not sure how this happened’ then he got back in his own car and left. I never saw him again.
Still on the car front it is true to say I have a remarkable number plate. My initials are DGE and I have the plate DGE1. I came to buy it because a friend of mine found it for sale in an advert for around £2000. You just buy it he said it will only appreciate and if a premier league footballer has the same initials you will make a fortune. So far no luck on that front but I still have the plate on a van I own. It has been on all sorts of cars, most of the tatty old land rovers and the like. Any way for some reason I bought one of the first Porsche Cayennes when they came out. To be honest it was when my head was turned as I had made a lot of money on some share options I had owned and I just bought it. To make matters worse I put DGE1 on it. If ever I got some looks of hate then that was it. One day Liz and I went up to London to support friends in The London Marathon. As a sort of joke we found a great rate at The savoy and we decided to stay there. I rolled up to the front door and got the full treatment courtesy of my car which was very rare at the time as a new model. The doorman insisted in parking it for me.We were given a great room and we decided to go out for a meal. By the front door of the Savoy is a sort of ‘top peoples parking bay. There parked in all its glory was my bloody car. I did not know whether to cry or laugh. Looking back I so wished I had taken a pic but I didn’t. Sorry to all my family I bought that car and for all the embarrassing moments you had to suffer in it. embarrassing at the Savoy or what?
Back To Mackerye End. We had there a swimming pool and our closest neighbours were in truth the odd ones out in the tiny hamlet. Most people were wealthy and lived in magnificent houses. The Fields were not wealthy, lived in a humble farm cottage and were very alternative and they had a doberman dog that terrified me although he was in truth quite dopey. It came to our notice that when we went away The Fields would take advantage and come and play in our swimming pool. Apparently, so our source told us, as soon as we were gone on our holidays they would let themselves in and would enjoy the facilities to the max. Fair enough. If they had asked us we would probably have said Yes but safety and the like made us a little concerned. Out of the blue Liz had an idea. The pool was kept clean by a revolving filter system and once a week the chemicals would be topped up. Just before we left Liz emptied an entire container of the chlorine based fluid into the pool. It smelt strongly of bleach and Liz reasoned that by the time we got back the mixture would have diluted and all would be well. ‘At least we will keep the Fields out’ she said. She was wrong! after 14 days in France I seem to remember we returned home. The pool area wa clean and tidy but the following morning our daughter burst into the house with the news that the Fields had all got green hair and there skin was a bleached colour. We said nothing. They said nothing. They all looked embarrassed when ever they saw us for about a week and would dive for cover as we passed. In time there hair returned to normal and the next time we went away the pool remained unused.
Tales of a Life Well Lived 