The Law of Equal Opposites.

Another serious piece here but the message has been entirely true for me in my life.

It was the spring of 1972 and I was 22 years old. I was working as a dealer, buying and selling shares for clients, on the floor of The Liverpool Stock Exchange. I had a wonderful boss called George Robinson who had been blown out of the water, literally, twice in convoys in the North Atlantic in the 2nd world war. He was an immaculately dressed man with a love of whisky and he became my ‘champion’ and taught me all he knew. He had no children of his own and maybe I was like a surrogate son to him. Having received little or no advice from my own father it was really good to have someone who was there to support and direct me.

Now on the Stock Exchange in those days were some remarkable characters. Men who had real tales to tell. Of tragedy, conflict and fear. Amongst these men was a Jewish man who went by the name of Topalian. I know not what his first name was but he worked for the very Jewish firm of Blankstone Singstone. He always wore a black 3 piece suit with a white shirt stiff collar and black tie. He was bald with straggly grey hair and his love of cigarettes left him with a tawny complexion and nicotine stained fingers. On the journey to and from work or walking around the City he would always wear a homburgh hat. He was very witty but had an acid tongue and those who were foolish enough to cross him would receive a withering ‘put down’ that demonstrated his intellect. Of course he was universally known as ‘Toppy’.

It was a time of my life when uncertainty was everywhere. What was I doing, what was I to become?. Would I find a wife and would I have a family. One day George told me that Toppy would like to get to know me better and he was keen to buy me a drink. (Drinking and Stock Exchange business were as one back then). Thinking about it I would make George laugh a lot and he probably wanted one of his ‘drinking buddies’ to share in the fun of a younger man. Anyway I went to the back room of ‘The Bodegga” pub in order to rendezvous with the man. This was my first conversation with him of any note. ‘Hello’ he said ‘what can I get you to drink’?. ‘the same as you’ I said. He smiled and returned from the bar with two huge pink gins-no ice. I sipped the thing and gulped my eyes popping. The effect of the elixir was of course to loosen my tongue and soon we were chatting away. I can see the smile on his stained teeth now along with the flash of the odd gold filling. Before long our conversation became serious and for some reason I confessed to him that I was struggling with my emotional life and how on occasions I had become very depressed as not being able to see a future was very difficult for me, as because of my education, my internal goals had been set very high.

Toppy gave me some of the best advice I have ever received and for me any way what he told me was so true. “There are many sorts of people’ he said ‘some people have almost no emotion they live their life on a basis of low highs and low lows. They are reasoned and practical and in truth are seldom fun to be around.’ ‘At the other end of the spectrum are people who experience high highs, they have the ability to soar mentally and appreciate life on a level that only people wit similar make up will understand’. Those people however will also experience low lows, the polar opposite of their joys’. All in all Toppy called this ‘The Iron Cold Law of Equal Opposites’. How ever high you go be assured the lows will follow and vice versa. On those days when you feel just ‘going on’ is all but impossible you can rely on one thing and that is a brighter day will come and if you wait long enough and if you open your heart then the joy that will be forthcoming will compensate for all you have been through-until the next cycle comes around that is.

Now I have no idea how other people see me. What is true is I am someone who can experience life, on occasion, in ‘another worldly’ way. Enough to make me shed tears of joy and to experience ecstatic feelings. You will also have guessed that I have also known deep dark ‘downs’ although most may struggle to accept this fact I assure you it is true.

The message of this tale is that as I have gone through my life that drink with Toppy, the only pink gin I have ever consumed, has given me some blessed wisdom. It has given me warnings not to expect perfection and joy as a condition of existing and maybe better still it has allowed me to weather the darkest of days because I was able to promise myself a brighter future awaits.

Looking back I cannot say why I was blessed with a variety of older men giving me help and advice, there was more than one. Maybe it was ‘an equal opposite’ for all I had missed with my own father. What I do know is I owe those wise men lot. For those reading this I sure you the rule works think about your own personality and experience and see if it makes sense to you and your life too.