Fear of heights

I am not sure when it was I first became aware of the fact I dont like heights. It could have been when I climbed up to the top of St Pauls Cathedral as a small boy with my Dad. I hated it and I vividly rmeber the urge to throw myself down into the void. Ona cathedral theme I climbed to the top of Ulm Cthedral in Germany. It is very high and I had a complete panic attack. My good friend Dennis Hay recognised my predicament and led me down so that I did not have to look throught the stone windows with no glass to ‘prevent a fall’.

I used to hate going up many of the skyscapers in New York, particularly The World Trade Centre. I once was talked into facing the Eiffel Tower by a client and I nearly died with panic. I also discovered that helicopters fail to offer the sense of support planes do and whilst I often used to take the quick route from JFK to New York city centre I hated it.

For some reason, given the opportunity I will try and overcome my fears. Ona family holiday in Switzerland I signed up for a tandem parachute flight. It was hell on earth as the prapente got in a spiral of rising air and we seemed to go ever upwards with just a canvas strap supporting my body. I seem to be able to manage the London Eye until ten to two and then I go and I have to sit down and grip the seat and count away the fears until ten past arrives and I can breathe normally again.

I wa once taken by a friend on a ski touring day out and found myself on a peak overlooking a precipitous slope. I lost it so badly it took the guide around half an hour to lower me down small steps at a time.

I have two further particular examples of my fears come to memory. Firstly I was in Steamboat Springs on a ski trip with some American friends. Dean Allen,as always, had sought out adventure and we two families boarded a hot air balloon. I cannot tell you hwo much I hated it. I sat in the middle with my arms locked around the cross strutts of the basket. Every expulsion of hot gases that sent the thing ever upward filled me with an impssible panic. The children looked at me with confusion in their eyes. The ‘driver’ said ‘many people are like you’. God knows how high we went up but it was hell. I have never felt so good to be back on the ground. It was in Las Vegas after a ‘few’ beers that it seemed a good idea to go up the Eiffel Tower with Liz. Whilst only a third of the size of the real one emerging on to the observation deck from the lifet immediately neutered the effects of alcohol. I asked th guard if I could go back down but he said I needed to join the queue which went 180 degrees arundthe central lift shaft. It was here I realised I was not alone as I was to join sweaty hands with others. we each confessed to our neighbours our fears,it did not help, but while Liz looked over the edge admiring the strip and all that LAs Vegas has to offer I along with the other sadoes sidestepped my way around the tower until at last I was back in the lift.

I have been up post office towers in Kuwait,Toronto, and a very tall thing in Chicago. After all this time I have finally decided that I have had enough and keeping my feet on the ground is my avoud priority.